Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Randomize
