My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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