he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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