smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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