Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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