I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize