I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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