what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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