Texts From Last Night

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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.

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  (814): In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words. http://tfl.nu/vqcb
  Replies (25) Good night (1333) Bad night (2671)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?

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  (615): Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN? http://tfl.nu/nemo
  Replies (9) Good night (3211) Bad night (1145)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.

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  (509): My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that? (541): It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you. http://tfl.nu/ntpo
  Replies (15) Good night (957) Bad night (2574)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?

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  (802): Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation? http://tfl.nu/9fzj
  Replies (7) Good night (3325) Bad night (867)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.

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  (978): watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night. http://tfl.nu/ve5u
  Replies (20) Good night (1309) Bad night (4301)
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  (858): View more from California

  I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking

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  (858): I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking http://tfl.nu/c48d
  Replies (9) Good night (754) Bad night (2473)
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  (914): View more from New York

  They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.

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  (914): They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk. http://tfl.nu/dygh
  Replies (2) Good night (2391) Bad night (757)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me

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  (712): We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me http://tfl.nu/ga08
  Replies (2) Good night (1213) Bad night (1058)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.

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  (830): I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate. http://tfl.nu/ytk5
  Replies (1) Good night (884) Bad night (741)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  Um, OK. WTF?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.

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  (410): Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy. (1-410): Um, OK. WTF? (410): The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times. http://tfl.nu/4f6p
  Replies (24) Good night (2730) Bad night (585)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship

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  (508): I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship http://tfl.nu/b7qc
  Replies (4) Good night (895) Bad night (456)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.

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  (405): Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe. http://tfl.nu/6c5y
  Replies (0) Good night (339) Bad night (520)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.

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  (443): Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon. http://tfl.nu/rgbb
  Replies (0) Good night (467) Bad night (274)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious

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  (410): Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious http://tfl.nu/mt9h
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (227)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?

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  (402): I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going? http://tfl.nu/dfxw
  Replies (3) Good night (564) Bad night (201)

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