You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
im six kinds of drunk right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.