Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
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i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
about cumming, not toast
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.