Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

go do what you do best...puke behind churches

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(305): go do what you do best...puke behind churches http://tfl.nu/kmxp

Replies (9) Good night (1088) Bad night (534)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...

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(314): I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter... http://tfl.nu/166t

Replies (36) Good night (2626) Bad night (736)
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(301): View more from Maryland

I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.

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(301): I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you. http://tfl.nu/0isu

Replies (25) Good night (934) Bad night (2736)
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(214): View more from Texas

Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life

(501): View more from Arkansas

3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.

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(214): Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life (501): 3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/1c46

Replies (17) Good night (1067) Bad night (2457)
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(518): View more from New York

Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant

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(518): Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant http://tfl.nu/517l

Replies (17) Good night (5334) Bad night (1102)
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.

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(580): I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off. http://tfl.nu/wwj4

Replies (11) Good night (3653) Bad night (803)
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(708): View more from Illinois

she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.

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(708): she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress. http://tfl.nu/x8tu

Replies (7) Good night (3594) Bad night (1129)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.

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(860): Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water. http://tfl.nu/9vgl

Replies (6) Good night (4458) Bad night (1021)
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(804): View more from Virginia

He likes Jesus. Game over.

(804): View more from Virginia

Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.

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(804): He likes Jesus. Game over. (804): Oooh wait, he just told me he was high. http://tfl.nu/lcdj

Replies (14) Good night (4885) Bad night (1475)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.

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(705): I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it. http://tfl.nu/m045

Replies (3) Good night (1356) Bad night (622)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.

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(918): Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want. http://tfl.nu/d7n8

Replies (4) Good night (1501) Bad night (467)
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(845): View more from New York

You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.

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(845): You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this. http://tfl.nu/x8z4

Replies (15) Good night (3092) Bad night (577)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.

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(405): The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore. http://tfl.nu/c65h

Replies (4) Good night (1057) Bad night (506)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.

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(423): There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork. http://tfl.nu/8h9m

Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (262)
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(562): View more from California

The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.

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(562): The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico. http://tfl.nu/31h6

Replies (3) Good night (736) Bad night (200)

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