Texts From Last Night

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  (805): View more from California

  So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.

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  (805): So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all. http://tfl.nu/imgn
  Replies (6) Good night (1808) Bad night (458)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.

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  (509): My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that? (541): It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you. http://tfl.nu/ntpo
  Replies (15) Good night (829) Bad night (2459)
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  (916): View more from California

  do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?

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  (916): do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won? http://tfl.nu/7jg6
  Replies (29) Good night (1947) Bad night (3535)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high

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  (774): dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high http://tfl.nu/yu6x
  Replies (49) Good night (7528) Bad night (875)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward

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  (936): So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward http://tfl.nu/gsii
  Replies (37) Good night (887) Bad night (5827)
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  (650): View more from California

  i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.

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  (650): i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating. http://tfl.nu/do4w
  Replies (4) Good night (3370) Bad night (916)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.

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  (817): he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup. http://tfl.nu/cgag
  Replies (6) Good night (2623) Bad night (910)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen

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  (814): we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen http://tfl.nu/nfcd
  Replies (9) Good night (2296) Bad night (986)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today

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  (780): Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today http://tfl.nu/5plw
  Replies (4) Good night (3346) Bad night (945)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free

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  (203): My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free http://tfl.nu/uzsl
  Replies (2) Good night (1668) Bad night (582)
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  (714): View more from California

  I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.

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  (714): I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off. http://tfl.nu/39nr
  Replies (10) Good night (2850) Bad night (664)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.

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  (360): Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go. http://tfl.nu/fovd
  Replies (3) Good night (465) Bad night (277)
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  (562): View more from California

  Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around

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  (562): Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around http://tfl.nu/8h5l
  Replies (4) Good night (309) Bad night (535)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.

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  (202): me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends. http://tfl.nu/9hc6
  Replies (0) Good night (582) Bad night (400)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.

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  (425): The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house. http://tfl.nu/wynr
  Replies (4) Good night (473) Bad night (296)

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