you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.