Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair

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  (810): He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair http://tfl.nu/7tzz
  Replies (2) Good night (632) Bad night (1519)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM

  (616): View more from Michigan

  Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  wait... oh

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  (401): dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM (616): Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek? (401): wait... oh http://tfl.nu/kgtx
  Replies (9) Good night (3308) Bad night (790)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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  (734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96
  Replies (18) Good night (6890) Bad night (1126)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."

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  (724): the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year." http://tfl.nu/oy1q
  Replies (26) Good night (1351) Bad night (4850)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.

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  (484): Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner. http://tfl.nu/ytfs
  Replies (14) Good night (7013) Bad night (747)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.

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  (404): The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me. http://tfl.nu/retd
  Replies (42) Good night (5890) Bad night (1333)
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  (212): View more from New York

  1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.

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  (212): 1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square. http://tfl.nu/c9pr
  Replies (4) Good night (2444) Bad night (974)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes

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  (586): Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes http://tfl.nu/g7it
  Replies (3) Good night (2024) Bad night (875)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.

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  (313): No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea. http://tfl.nu/zdpv
  Replies (9) Good night (736) Bad night (1314)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.

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  (307): I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head. http://tfl.nu/1su5
  Replies (2) Good night (972) Bad night (937)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.

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  (919): I have a cut on my head from a tambourine. http://tfl.nu/wa5x
  Replies (3) Good night (1398) Bad night (495)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost

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  (613): but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost http://tfl.nu/7k22
  Replies (2) Good night (429) Bad night (1016)
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  (707): View more from California

  He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.

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  (707): He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/bl7f
  Replies (6) Good night (305) Bad night (1594)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.

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  (740): Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me. http://tfl.nu/2duy
  Replies (0) Good night (399) Bad night (247)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.

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  (320): If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot. http://tfl.nu/mrn3
  Replies (2) Good night (483) Bad night (313)

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