i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
