Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
