SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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