dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
