Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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