i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
