HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
