He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Quick, to the slutcave!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
