Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize