He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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