Will you blow on my dice?
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
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