Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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