1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
