I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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