I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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