we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
