did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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