If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
