Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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