We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
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