I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I need to calm my uterus...
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