12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize