I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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