i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
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