you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
