How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
