How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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