Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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