i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
