Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
