well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
