dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize