Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
