BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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