I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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