im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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