My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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