last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
