nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
