There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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