Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
