i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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