...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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