Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
