see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
