i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
