i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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